Literally - true story - I just spent over an hour digging holes all over our back yard, ruining the grass because I have the septic guys coming today, and I told them I would dig the hole to the access port myself (to save a measly $50).  Well, now I have to add the septic company to my list of to-calls and admit defeat, because I can’t find it, and it’s not documented anywhere on the paperwork that the previous owners left for us.